Self Improvement

 Self Improvement

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          You need an ideal because you have nothing to aim at but an ideal is a judge and you always fall short of the ideal so how the hell can you have the benefits of having an ideal without having the crushing blow that goes along with having the judge that always regards he was insufficient so I was trying to work that out in the chapter and this is something I've had to work out a lot as a clinical psychologist it's like well let's say you need a goal but we don't want to eat let your distance from the goal crush you so you got to set up a goal and then you go to break the goal down into parts so that you can move towards it you have a fairly high likelihood of doing it so that's a bit bit of practice I wouldn't say advice it's it's because it's better than advice it's some practical knowledge about how to go about achieving an aim set a high aim but differentiate it down so you understand what the subsequent stage is and afterward make the subsequent stage sufficiently troublesome so you need to propel yourself past where you are yet additionally give yourself with a reasonable probability of success it's also what.

You do with children right you want to push them because they need to grow up and be more than they are right but you don't want to crush them with constant failure so what you do is aim high and make the goal difficult but proximal so that's one way of looking at it but then the next thing is I've had clients many clients in their 30s who are trying to this is more true with women I would say a lot of women who were very high achieving and who established their career goals at 30 and then want to differentiate out their life they want to have a husband they want to have a family they're trying to figure out how to do that and one of the things I've noticed that around 30 you really have to stop comparing yourself in some ways to other people and the reason for that is that the particular it is of your life or so I do syn chronic that there isn't anyone really all that much like you you know because the details of your life happened to matter and so maybe you compare yourself to some rock star or something like that and you know the person's rich and famous and glamorous and all that but you know they're alcoholic and they use too much cocaine and they've had three divorces and it's like how the hell do you make sense out of that is that someone that you should judge yourself harshly against or not the answer is you don't know because you don't know all the tales of their lives and who do you know that you can compare yourself to that's easy you yesterday so here's a good goal it's something like well aim high and I really mean that it's like and we'll talk about that a little bit to aim high but use as your control yourself it's like so your goal is to make today some tiny increment better than yesterday and you can use better you can define better yourself this doesn't have to be some imposition of external morality you know.

you realize where you're powerless and inadequate where you could improve say thanks to Alright this is the thing that I'm similar to yesterday in the event that I did this seemingly insignificant detail things would be only an augmentation better and well that is something incredible in light of the fact that you get this show on the road and steady improvement is relentless you can really carry out it and it begins to produce burrito conveyance like results it begins to compound and I've witnessed that in individuals' lives over in all individuals composing constantly and reveal to me that they're doing that however I've witnessed that in individuals' lives ceaselessly they make an objective an objective that the objective ought to be how is it possible that I would imagine my life so that in the event that I had that everyday routine it would unmistakably merit experiencing so I wouldn't need to be severe angry misleading haughty and vindictive like that is somewhat the main concern right since that is how interminable disappointment deals with you it's bad and that is the thing that existence without reason and the objective does to you also on the grounds that life is hard so you think alright I need to receive a method of being that would legitimize my misery and you can ask yourself that inquiry what might make this beneficial.