How Can I Stop My Anger

How Can I Stop My Anger

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                         Today we discuss five keys on how to control your anger we all certainly at some points in our lives experience anger and to me anger management it's something that we all could benefit from anger management is so much more than just dealing with anger it's dealing with the emotions that surround anger these five keys to controlling your anger okay because let's face facts alright all of us have anger and there are ways to deal with it in a more effective way when you think about the world today you think about how many people are exploding out of anger how many people are losing control and hurting other people it's unacceptable all of us we have we're challenged to have the discipline to handle our anger well so I want to give you that look I say we all have issues if you're alive right now you have issues but that's okay because so do I like do I look like a person who's never been angry of course I've been angry I don't know how to deal with it I still get angry but the difference is knowing how to handle that anger well so sure anger is gonna come up for you but follow these five keys and I'm telling you you'll handle it in a much more effective way so here they are the first key is this don't be attached been in an argument with someone or a disagreement.

Instead of being open to learning which we all would say we all say hey look oh I'm open to learning oh yeah now I have a lot more to learn in my life I can learn a lot more most people would say that right but then when it comes to an argument or disagreement all of a sudden it's like hey I'm not my egos my egos right I'm defending myself to the end and we become very attached so I've talked about attachment in this way before I've talked about it as this let's say that these are all my ideas and I put my ideas here and I hold on to my ideas if you disagree with my ideas and I'm attached to my ideas I get really upset like I think wow dare you how dare you disagree with who I am but if I take my ideas and I set them down over here and you disagree with my ideas I can recognize hey you're not disagreeing with the essence of who I am you're just disagreeing with some of my ideas so not being attached helps us it helps us in a beyond significant way because I realize it leads to the very second key to what I need to enlighten you regarding which is don't think about things literally look how frequently have you permitted your annoyance to simply balloon and grow because you've taken things personally one fact as I said at the beginning is we all have issues right we all have things that are going on in our lives and the problem happens when we start to take other people's issues.

Personally now a lot of times people will say well what if I'm saying something directly what if someone's saying directly at me then I say it is about me it is personal I say no it's not it's not personal  I'm not gonna take that personally it's not about me if you don't even know me how can it possibly be about me it's about you right and when it comes to people saying mean things and lashing out at you it's not about you it's about them and when you learn that when you really get that cuz I've a sense that a lot of people understand that here but then understanding it here is a lot different but when you can learn to not take things personally it's one of the greatest gifts you ever give yourself and as that's why it's one of the five to me most practical keys to managing your anger well so the third key the third key to handling anger well and to controlling your anger is learning when to let things go all too often people that's have such a hard time letting things go and why is that so hard for us why is it so hard because again I believe that it comes back to our egos right so we want to have things go our way so we say well I'm gonna put myself out there and when.

I put myself out there here's what's gonna happen and we become attached to our view and until we learn to let go of needing things to be our way then we crumble when things don't go our way so letting go of needing things to be to go your way it's a really important key to handling your anger well and you say well I never get anything to go my way things never go my way and and that's important to understand to not use extreme language because all too often we say never always you know can't stand it and those words drive anger even bigger so learning to let go of meeting things to go your way is huge right letting go is a powerful powerful step the fourth key is this being aware of what's going on in your body oh I call being mindful of being what's going on in your body in other words this if I say to you how many times in your life have you snapped at someone when really you were hungry just about everybody reading is gonna be like okay that was me I did it if I say to you how many of you have been angry with someone else because you were really just overly tired I'm same authority of people reading this Post gonna beg I guess I can think back to a time I was arguing but really I was just overly tired if I say to you what about think about it you're in a situation where you were stressed out and you snapped at somebody right all of these things happen to us hunger fatigue being stressed even something as simple as being overly heated it can be agitate us and when we're not aware of what's going on in our body we start to make up a story right so we get hungry and now we start to say I feel agitated so because I feel agitated I must be upset about this and then we make up whatever story and then we get really upset about it whereas if we were well fed at the time we probably wouldn't have gotten so upset about the same thing so it's really important to be mindful about what's going on inside your body the more mindful you are the more the more aware you are then you can get to the fifth key and for me the fifth key is it's simple but it's simple to understand but it's really hard to practice and that's learning how to say what's really going on with you listen to that learning how to say what's really going on with you in other words if I'm hungry I can say instead of snapping at my wife I can say you know.

What honey I'm really hungry right now now it was not a great time to have that conversation because I'm so hungry he's let me grab some food here real quick and then when then we can sit down and talk about it if the only reason why you're arguing with your loved one is because you're both overly tired or one of you is overly tired then by all means go to sleep go to bed angry when you wake up in the morning and you're well rested the odds are and listen if you want to keep fighting keep fighting but the odds are you're probably not gonna want to so being mindful of what's going on in your body and then expressing it accurately and so many people throughout the country I could go all over and speak throughout the country I get to interact with thousands of people and so many people will say you know it sounds so simple but why is it so hard and I believe it's so hard for most people because we've gotten into these behavioral patterns of just not learning to express what's going on with us so once you start to do it and believe me every technique I'm talking about these five keys to controlling anger you can as soon as you're done  stop reading this post and then start practicing it and watch what happens in other words if you're feeling a certain way let's say you're feeling anxious instead of lashing out at anger say that try it just try saying it you know what I'm really sorry but I feel kind of feel really anxious right now and I think it's making me feel a little agitated and I feel a little angry I don't think it's about you I think it's about me and then let me deal with that for a little bit and see the more you learn to express that accurately the more effective the more effectively you control your anger these five keys to controlling your anger management trust me I'm telling you these are  really important things so try them  sometimes we need to be easy on ourselves as we're learning what I taught you today or what I expressed today whether it was a review for you or not.